hirefreddy.com

Hire the growth analyst you can’t afford

£24 a month. One email every Monday: what happened, what broke, what to fix first.

Hire FreddyRead a sample report

First report in minutes, not next Monday. 14 days free, no card.

Freddy reads

  • Stripe✦
  • Paddle✦
  • Chargebee✦
  • Lemon Squeezy✦
  • GA4✦
  • Plausible✦
  • Fathom✦
  • Search Console✦
  • Bing Webmaster✦
  • PostHog✦
  • Mixpanel✦
  • Amplitude✦
  • Sentry✦
  • Logtail✦
  • Postgres✦
  • Supabase✦
  • Intercom✦
  • Customer.io✦
  • HubSpot✦
  • Mailchimp✦

You built the product. You wired up the analytics. You check them… never.

Then something drops and you find out three weeks late. You don't have an analytics problem — you have a reading-the-analytics problem. Baremetrics says MRR fell. GA says traffic fell. Nobody tells you they're the same story.

That's the bit I do. I read all four every night, work out what caused what, and write you one page. Monday, 8am, your time. Then I get out of your way.

Sincerely,

Freddy

Does your Monday look like this?

Stripe

Unread

Your weekly payments summary

Google Analytics

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Your Analytics Intelligence insights

Search Console

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Search performance update for hirefreddy.com

PostHog

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Weekly digest: 14 insights ready

Sentry

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[Alert] Error rate above threshold

Stripe

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Your weekly payments summary

Google Analytics

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Your Analytics Intelligence insights

Search Console

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Search performance update for hirefreddy.com

PostHog

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Weekly digest: 14 insights ready

Sentry

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[Alert] Error rate above threshold

Five tools, five summaries, none of them talking to each other. All of them describing the same week, none of them telling you what to do about it.

Fix it in one page a week

This is a real report, in Freddy's own words. Read it and you'll know what I'd do next.

Freddy · Monday 08:00

Week 32 · 2026

Subject

MRR’s up 6%, but your signups are leaking from the pricing page

Morning. Short version: revenue looks fine, the top of the funnel doesn’t. Trials fell 18% this week, and it isn’t conversion — it’s traffic. Organic clicks on /pricing dropped 34% from Wednesday, right after the Aug 3 core update. Two queries slid from position 3 to 8.

01

What I'd do first

Rewrite the /pricing intro for those two queries this week. It’s the only thing on this page that moves money.

02

What broke

Card declines tripled on Thursday. That’s £340 sitting in retry purgatory. Your Stripe retry schedule gives up after two attempts — make it four.

03

Watching, not claiming

Activation ticked up 4% the same week you shipped the new onboarding. Those two moved together. I can’t prove it yet. Watching it.

The numbers

MRR

£8,410

+6%

Trials

31

−18%

Organic clicks

2,140

−34%

Declines

17

+210%

— Freddy

Useful  /  Not useful

No charts, no tabs, no interpreting. One page, one priority, every Monday at 8am your time.

Here’s how I do it

Six habits, the same every week. That’s the whole job description.

  • 01

    Reads nightly

    Every source, every night, while you sleep. Nothing to trigger.

  • 02

    Joins the dots

    Clicks to sessions to trials to revenue, on one timeline.

  • 03

    One email, Monday

    8am your time. One page, one priority, no dashboard.

  • 04

    Taps you if it's on fire

    Declines, chargebacks, a page falling off. One a day, maximum.

  • 05

    Read-only, always

    Totals only. Never raw events, never your customer list.

  • 06

    Never misses a week

    Quiet week? Two sentences, then I leave you alone.

No settings to tune, no thresholds to invent. You hire me and I get on with it — every single Monday, without fail.

How Freddy thinks

The engine does the maths. The AI only does the sentences — never the other way round.

01

I read everything, nightly

Stripe, GA4, Search Console, PostHog. Every night, while you sleep.

02

I connect the dots across sources

Your tools don't talk to each other. I speak all four languages.

03

I tell you what I'd do next

Not “sessions fell 12%”. Which page, since when, and the fix.

And when it's quiet, I say so in two sentences. When it's bad, I say what I'd do. I never shrug, and I never hand you a chart to interpret.

What this job normally costs

A growth analyst

Plus holidays, laptop, onboarding.

£50,000 / year

A fractional analyst

Four hours a month, if you chase them.

£500 / month

Databox + your Sunday night

Three sources, and your sanity.

£159 / month

Every source. Never misses a Monday.

£24 / month

£24 a month. No holidays. No stand-ups. Never misses a Monday.

  • Every source included — revenue, web, search, product, errors
  • A real report in minutes, from 90 days of your own historical backfill
  • A shoulder tap when something's on fire, one a day maximum
  • Every past report kept forever at a stable link you can share with your investors
  • 14 days free, no card needed. Cancel in a single click and I disappear.
Hire Freddy

If my first report doesn't tell you something you didn't know, don't pay me.

I care about your data as much as you do

Read-only access, revoked whenever you like. I keep daily and weekly totals — never raw events, never your customer list, never card details. Delete the account and everything goes with it.

See exactly what I read →

Six sources in.

1

email out.

That's the whole deal. No dashboards to check, no tabs to keep open, no Sunday night spent working out which number moved.

Ask me anything

No. My analysis engine does the maths — deltas, baselines, cross-source correlation. The AI only writes the words. I never make up a number.

So did everyone who hired me. The data isn't the problem. Reading it every week, across four tools, and knowing what matters — that's the job. That's my job.

Then I'll tell you in two sentences and let you get back to building. I don't pad.

Stop checking dashboards. Hire someone who does.

Connect one source, read my first report in minutes, and decide then. 14 days free, no card.

14 days free, no card. Cancel in a single click.

Hire Freddy — £24/month